


In Another Life

by morgay



Series: Across Time and Space [8]
Category: Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The X-Files
Genre: Across Time and Space (ATAS), Angst, Crying, Death, Grief, Is Clay jealous, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, One Night Stand, Sadness, Sex kinda, but not vivid, enjoy, not a very happy ending, still an angstoholic okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 11:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13763277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgay/pseuds/morgay
Summary: Jake struggles with his mental health after Rodrick is run over by a car. Mid Across Time and Space (7).





	In Another Life

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Angst and NSFW. There's some sex as well, it's not too in depth but you can tell it's happening. 
> 
> Wanted to write this because I became oddly attached to Jake Anderson (AU Fox Mulder) for the few hours I roleplayed him. Decided he deserved a little more book time, so here he is.

"F-fuck... yeah..."

Jake's heavy pants filled the dark room. His fingers gripped the covers as he was pushed into the pillow, his eyes screwed shut as he felt pleasure but also pain. After a while Clay had flopped down beside him, the other ginger male letting out heavy sighs. Sweat dripped from Jake's face and dampened the covers, his ragged breaths eventually becoming slower and more evened out.

The two naked men were quiet as they stared up at the ceiling. Jake felt his hollow heart rip apart as the image flashed before his mind. Blood, death, a car horn blaring in his ears. His breath hitched and he immediately threw himself to his feet, desperately searching for his clothes, hot tears beginning to stream down his cheeks as sobs choked from his throat.

"Jake? Jake, what's going on?" Clay was immediately at his side, the other male only having on boxers now but the businessman was nearly fully dressed, save his pants. He cried but pushed his friend away, shaking his head.

"Jake, come on!" Clay threw himself in front of the brown-haired male, eyes darkened with worry. "You've been like this ever since you met that Rodrick guy."

_Fuck. Fuck. I killed him. I got him killed. He got ran over because of me. If I'd let him stay for breakfast he wouldn't have been murdered right in front of my house._

He still had nightmares. Jake had seen it happen; after all, the businessman had watched the other male walk out just to make sure he was okay. But... it had failed. Rodrick hadn't been okay.

_He'd been fucking run over by a car._

It had been at least two months and Jake still hadn't been able to get the visions out of his mind, or stop himself from screaming at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night, the only comfort being the sheets and his pillows. He was so, so alone and his happiness had been destroyed since then. Even he and Clay's usual sex nights were becoming hard to handle.

He didn't want to live. He couldn't do this anymore. Money didn't matter, a mansion was nothing compared to the pure love he'd felt that night. The way his heart had swelled after even just seeing Rodrick, and fuck had being in bed with that man made him fall even more. But now that was gone and his heart was ripped open and he felt like he was bleeding out from all sides. Jake didn't find pleasure in sex anymore, he hated work, he hated his life.

All because of that damned Rodrick.

"I'm fine, Clay," Jake whispered, trying to get past his friend but failing.

"I said I'm fine, Clay!" he spat. The other man's eyes widened in slight shock at his yell. Jake had never yelled at his friend before.

Finally Clay stopped and crossed his arms, rage burning in his eyes. "Fine then, asshole! Honestly I don't care what you do. I tried to have a good time with you tonight but y-you're just messing it up so whatever! Go ruin your life, I don't care." Clay turned away, not saying anything else.

The words stung. Jake flinched, chills wrapping up his limbs as he stared at Clay in cold shock. His hands began to shake as he looked at the back of the other male. Everything hurt. His heart, his soul, hell he'd had sex so many times to try to numb the pain he physically hurt. But Jake couldn't lose the one person in his life he had left. If Clay was gone... then he was afraid he'd have nothing else to life for. Jake didn't trust himself anymore. Even if he didn't _want_ to kill himself.. he knew he would if he was left all alone.

"Fuck. I-I'm sorry." Jake took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Clay, feeling a tingle of warmth come up his arms but it was nothing like he'd felt with Rodrick. Maybe he'd never feel that again.

Clay turned, his blue eyes brimming with tears as he stared at his friend. "I didn't mean to say that, Jake. I-I'm just so frustrated, all you've been doing is pushing me away and y-you cut off our time early.." He looked away.

The businessman sighed, rubbing his hand through Clay's wild ginger hair. He forced a smile. "I'm sorry baby, you're right, I haven't meant to. I'm just stressed out you know?"

Clay's eyes darkened. "I know what happened to Rodrick. I know he died in front of your house." Jake tensed up, biting his lip as tears pricked his eyes. "You told me you didn't see any of it happen.. you didn't know him too long either but... is that what's been bothering you? Are you sad you lost him or... or are you hiding something else about what you saw?"

Jake then forced a laugh and waved his friend off. "No! I told you I didn't see anything. I'm just stressed out from work okay? Now stop pressing and let me kiss you."

Clay didn't object as the businessman dove forward and trapped his friend on the bed, their lips locked in a sloppy kiss. Their bodies rubbed together as they stripped themselves naked and Jake grunted when Clay entered him, not being as soft as usual but it was okay. He hardly felt it, he was so numb inside he just faked moans and orgasms to make Clay feel better.

_Clay loves me but he won't tell me. I don't love him. Will we ever be able to sort this out between each other?_

Jake's body rocked with the bed as he turned his head to look outside, the moon flashing down between the slitted blinds. Stars twinkled in the sky and he was so captured by them he didn't even feel Clay stroke him or lean down to kiss his neck several times.

All Jake knew was that he wasn't happy. He wasn't sure he'd ever be, but... maybe he was somewhere else, in another universe, in another life.. and maybe, hopefully, he was happy there.

And if Rodrick was happy, wherever he now was... that was all that mattered.


End file.
